In December of 2017, I was on the way to one of my finals for school, when a man ran a stop sign and slammed into me. That incident lead to my car being totaled and my body being destroyed. 

I know what it feels like to be in excruciating pain every single moment of the day. I know what if feels like to be in your car crying after a doctor’s appointment because once again, the doctor doesn’t know how to help you. I know what it feels like to have ten doctor appointments a week and for your health to have taken over your life. It is isolating. It is discouraging. It is painful. 

It’s difficult to look at yourself in the mirror and not recognize who you are. You were once a fit and athletic person, and now even getting out of bed is a huge task. It is hard to look in the mirror and see how much weight you’ve gained from the plethora of medications you are on. It is hard to see scars all over your body from surgeries and procedures, that once weren’t there. It is hard to look in the mirror, and not recognize yourself. 

For a long time, I have talked to my parents about why this is happening to me. I wanted to know why I was the one injured and why my suffering has lasted so long. It became very clear to me that I may never have the exact answer of why this is happening, but it is not acceptable for me to throw myself a pity party and give up. Instead I have to fight and make the best of a bad situation. First, because of this adversity I have to stay faithful and devoted to God and glorify Him in all things. Secondly, I have to handle this situation and trial correctly so maybe one day I will have the tools to help someone else that is suffering like me. 

Since this accident happened in 2017, I first looked to the Bible to see how to handle this trial. Secondly, I looked online for tips and suggestions on how to deal and cope with very unique and excruciating health circumstances. I found out very quickly that so many people with health issues either hide their pain and suffering, abuse substances or honestly give up completely. 

When people are in pain and are needing a since of community, I want them to be able to find a safe place to research information and feel less alone. I want people to feel seen.

I am no where near the end of my trials and struggles. In fact, I’m right in the middle of it and it’s giving me a beating. I hope as I start writing about the details of my experiences and start sharing them, a community can be created and we can all find connection through the pain.

Love,

Whitney